She's Winning

Well, yes, my hair is too.  But I’m not referring to those beauties on the top of my head that my children and entering my mid thirties brought about.  This is my new stance on mommy wars.  I’ve finally come to the conclusion that NOTHING related to being a parent is black and white and so I’m officially joining team gray. In my pre-kid era, I watched from a far.  I heard about a few of the hot mommy topics from other parents and  thought  I knew where I stood despite that fact that I was actually clueless on everything kid related.  I passed judgment on other people’s parenting and their children’s behavior.  “I’ll never…” are the famous last words of the pre-kid era.   Karma’s a bitch.  Now I hear first time pregnant women telling me all of the things they will do perfectly.  And all of the things they  will never do .  Trust me, I was never going to let my child scream in public either or use an iPad to entertain them when I needed a break.  But guess who has one of the loudest

My Sweet Little Boy, I’m overcome with emotion thinking back to your very dramatic entrance into this world just two short years ago.  You didn’t come according to my plan.  After giving birth to your older brother I thought I knew what to expect.  But you entered the world in your own way.  It was clear then and is still clear today that you will pave your own path. And from your very first breath I knew that all of the things I thought I had learned about being a mom would change with you. Y ou  bring me new joys.   And you bring me new challenges.  You make me a better me every day. Your fearlessness keeps me constantly at the edge of my seat.  But I know you will use it to do extraordinary things with your life.  You will be unstoppable! You play hard but you love even harder.   There has never been a hug as tight as yours.  You hug with every ounce of strength you have.  And someday you will have a family of your own that will be stronger because of  that

I’m flying!  And I’m wearing a beautiful, sparkling, Elsa dress.  I feel so freeeeeeeee and on top of the wooooorld.  I’m in full control of my flight and, wow, does flying feel AMAAAAAAAZING. Until… wait… who is screaming down below?  Is that Grant? POOF!  And I’m awake.  My two year old is yelling and ready to come out of his crib for the day.  My beautiful dress is gone.  It’s 6:23am.  I have bed head and a t-shirt & shorts that don’t even match.  But today I’m grabbing my glasses off my side table and leaping out of my bed and into his room feeling so refreshed after my awesome dream!   Today is going to be a good day! I hurried down to the kitchen with my little dude to tell my hubby about my flying experience before he left for work.   You have to hear this.  I had a flying dream.  Do you know what this means?!?   He appeased me with a little excitement but I know in these moments he thinks I’m a little nutty.  And, well, he is probably right.  But I fully own my nut

Thank you for the many messages and responses to my  post about quitting my job . I’ve received a lot of questions on what sacrifices and changes I am making with this transition.  I’ve really enjoyed chatting with so many lovely gals considering the same type of move and I hope to be as transparent as I can with this series “The Good, The Bad & The Savings.” One week in and I am still alive! It’s obviously way to early for me to pass judgment on this new lifestyle, good or bad, but I do have a lot to share from my first week at home. THE SAVINGS I am about 10x less stressed.   I love the much slower pace of my days, especially our mornings. Don’t get me wrong, my little guys still wake me up at the crack of dawn but that part was always just fine.  The easier part is knowing that I don’t have to rush them out the door and still be ready for my day at work. I enjoy having breakfast together, watching a few cartoons and then starting our first activity of the day at our o

I did it.  I hit “send.”  There it is in black and white in my sent box.  I’ve been planning for this.  I’ve confidently, verbally communicated it to all of the right people over the last two months.  But today, as I’m two weeks out from becoming a stay at home Mom, I had to  submit my formal resignation saying farewell to my corporate life.  While I know this is the right move for me at this point in my life, seeing it in black and white has set off a roller coaster of emotions: I’m grieving.   I think I’m grieving the loss of a previous version of myself.  Perhaps it is the childless version that felt so passionate about her work.  It was the me that always felt like I had it all together.  And the me that viewed “success” as raises and moving up the ladder at work. I’m refreshed.   I’m refreshed when I remind myself that the person I’m grieving was the me that hadn’t yet realized that having children would change all this.  This was the me that once believed my happiness depe

"Talk to people about it.  Don't let it be taboo.  It shouldn't be.  It's 2011"   These were the last words of advice from my Dr. on that unforgettable day 4 years ago.  That day I walked into her office filled with excitement.  I was going to see an ultrasound of my baby for the first time.  Even though I wasn't "supposed to" yet, I had spent the last few weeks dreaming and planning.  I was SO excited!  Is it a boy or a girl?  What will we name him or her?  What will they look like?  And how big will they smile?  That's what Mothers do from the moment they see the two lines on the stick. I walked out of her office feeling completely empty.  I went to the lab to have my blood drawn so they could track my hormones while this heartbreaking moment played out.  The nurse taking my blood asked me why I was having a miscarriage.  "Did you lift  something you shouldn't have?"  How could a nurse be so uninformed that she would think th

When you first become a parent, every single outing is a HUGE deal.  You have to pack your diaper bag with diapers, bottles, wipes, back-up clothes, back-up clothes for the back up clothes and EVERY POSSIBLE ITEM there’s even the slightest chance you will need. Just in case the world ends while you go out for pizza, you have canned goods in your bag.  When you are out in public and the baby cries, you completely stress out.  Not only because you are new to parenting and crying still freaks you out, but you are also worried about what everyone around you thinks.   They are all looking at me!  What if they know that I don’t know what I’m doing?   I hate to break it to the new parents but it’s kind of a well-known fact that parenting doesn’t come with a handbook.  Everyone DOES know that you don’t know what you are doing.  And it’s okay!  You will learn to stop caring, trust me. Flash forward a few years.  You have more children but you actually bring LESS stuff with you.  If you a

"Stick by your man, even if he dies"  was the advice my grandmother gave my sister at her wedding shower and it stuck with me ever since.   She was 89 years old at the time and told things like they were.  There was no more fluff, there was just real.  Behind this statement was a love that stood the test of time, a lasting love that she hoped my sister would also experience.  My grandfather had passed away when she was only 58 years old and their 5th child had just become an adult.  He was her one true love, her soul-mate.  She'd never find another him.  She never wanted to.  My grandmother lived to be 90 (she spent 32 years without him).  I was there when she passed away and I can promise you that she was reunited with my grandfather in that moment.  I had never before seen a smile on her face as big as the one she had when she took her last breath.  Seeing her love for him is one of the great love stories of my lifetime. I was 21 years old at the time she passed aw