I was texting back and forth with one of my dearest friends yesterday about our normal mommy stuff. And at the end of our conversation she sent me this:
PS - I just want you to know that I think of you as one of my strongest mommy friends. The way you so selflessly put your kids before your career is inspiring. And even though it so hard and the days seem never-ending, you are truly doing an amazing job with those boys. You can see it in their demeanor, they love the time and energy you give. And even though as moms we don't hear it nearly enough, you are making a huge difference in their lives and giving them something that is priceless. I'm grateful that on the hard, most discouraging days we have someone to vent/cry/laugh with in a completely judgement free space. You are living the definition of super mom, even when you feel you aren't. Love you friend!
Wow. I instantly started crying. I was crying because while this had nothing to do with our text conversation I needed this so badly and she knew it. Becoming a stay at home mom takes a mental toughness and daily endurance that I wasn't prepared for and my mommy friends, especially this very dear friend, are what keep me from running for the hills. Or at least locking myself in my pantry. This note is what true friends are all about and why they are so vital to our well-being. Being a mom is hard. It's full of new challenges, second guessing and giving more of ourselves than we ever knew we had to give. But we do it because, while the rewards can be far and few between, when they happen they are bigger than life. And having someone to encourage us and remind us why we are doing this when we need it most is priceless. Her thoughtful words re-energized me and reminded me why my role is so important. Every mommy needs at least one friend like her.
SHE knows when to take charge at the play date because I just don't have it in me that day to give the taking turns speech one more time.
SHE listens so closely and attentively to my proud mommy stories because she knows these are the moments that make it all worth it and I desperately need to feel those few minutes of pride.
SHE laughs with me when my little ones say the darndest things. Motherhood is so much more enjoyable when you have a friend to share these precious moments with.
SHE knows when I desperately need a cup of coffee or a glass or three of wine.
SHE is the one I will invite over regardless of whether it's a good day, bad day, messy day or shower-less day because she will never judge.
SHE understands that I love my husband more than anything but sometimes he drives me crazy and that's perfectly normal.
SHE is on every emergency contact list because I know she would drop everything to help me and my kids feel at home with her.
SHE knows where the poopy diapers go, where to find the snacks and that I'm a little OCD with our Legos.
SHE remembers when we have that important appointment or the first day of preschool and always checks in with me to see how it went.
SHE is the one that always sees the good in my kids even on their worst days.
SHE never one-ups me and can always empathize with my challenges. I can count on her to remind me that this too shall pass.
SHE will be at my son's birthday party rain or shine because she knows I put my heart and soul into planning it. And points out that even though the wind blew my precious decorations away, my son still enjoyed every minute and that's all that really matters.
SHE knows that mindless gossiping about the latest contestants on The Bachelor is EXACTLY what this mama needs for a mental break sometimes.
SHE is the one I strive to be like because her patience with her children is second to none, her loyalty as a friend is inspiring and her values are so strong.
SHE sees through my role as mommy and remembers beneath the pony tail and booger-covered yoga pants, I'm so much more than a mama. I'm still a person that needs to be seen and understood.
And most importantly, SHE can always hear in my voice or read between the lines in my text when all I need, more than anything, is a simple "You got this, Mama!"
Whatever your current challenge is... Whether you are feeling too exhausted for tonight's 2am feeding. Or you are sure your children are deaf because they just don't listen. You might even feel positive that your child will not be fully potty trained by elementary school. Let me take this opportunity to pay this precious gift forward. This too shall pass. You got this, Mama!
May we all be fortunate enough to HAVE & loyal enough to BE a friend just like her.
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