She's Winning

I did it.  I hit “send.”  There it is in black and white in my sent box.  I’ve been planning for this.  I’ve confidently, verbally communicated it to all of the right people over the last two months.  But today, as I’m two weeks out from becoming a stay at home Mom, I had to  submit my formal resignation saying farewell to my corporate life.  While I know this is the right move for me at this point in my life, seeing it in black and white has set off a roller coaster of emotions: I’m grieving.   I think I’m grieving the loss of a previous version of myself.  Perhaps it is the childless version that felt so passionate about her work.  It was the me that always felt like I had it all together.  And the me that viewed “success” as raises and moving up the ladder at work. I’m refreshed.   I’m refreshed when I remind myself that the person I’m grieving was the me that hadn’t yet realized that having children would change all this.  This was the me that once believed my happiness depe