She's Winning

  If I've learned anything about birth plans since becoming a mom it's that the best plan is to NOT have a plan.  With my first son, I walked into labor & delivery on the big day with a detailed written birth plan in hand that basically said I wished to have a completely natural birth.  15 hours later this suddenly seemed like a terrible plan that was not for me.  I asked for the epidural and proceeded to have a beautiful birth experience far different from the one I had planned.  I walked into labor & delivery for the second time 18 months later confident that I knew how it would go this time.  To my surprise after reaching 9cm dilated my cervix started to swell and close likely because of the positioning and size of my son's head.  A c-section became medically necessary and I'm so thankful for modern medicine to help me bring my son into the world.  Though that was far from the plan in my head, I was happy to have a healthy baby boy.  When we decided to hav

This week will mark the beginning of the third trimester of pregnancy with my third child.  My current state of mind can best be described as a cocktail of emotions garnished with pregnancy hormones... I'm excited.   I'm dying to meet my third child!  Who is this little person moving around inside of me?!  Is it another sweet boy or will this be my first and only girl?  What will their personality be like?  Will they look like me or my husband or our other kids?  What new joys will they bring to our home and what new challenges will they bring to me as a mother?  I can hardly wait to find out! I'm scared.   How will I manage three very little kids?  Right now there are so many days that I feel like my hands are completely full and I'm pushed to my limit with patience.  Do I really have what it takes to care for a baby in addition to these two energetic little boys?  I know I'm not the first mom to take on the responsibility of three kids but this certainly is

I’m more than halfway through my pregnancy with my third child.  It won’t be long before we meet this precious new member of our family.  I’m over-the-moon excited and my pregnancy hormones are coming on strong!  I’m dreaming.  I’m nesting.  I’m IN LOVE. This time I don’t know the gender of the baby.   I knew with both of my boys by now.   When my husband first suggested that we shouldn’t find out the gender this time I laughed.  I thought he had to be kidding knowing that patience is not one of my strong points.   Though my kids are working on that with me.   It turns out he was dead serious and after he did a great job romanticizing the moment of him and I in the delivery room hearing the magic “It’s a ……”, I agreed to wait.  To my surprise it hasn’t been as hard as I imagined.  A lot of people have said to me that they couldn’t wait because they are planners.  I get that, although, I think I’m a planner too.  But I suppose when it’s your third little one there is not a lot to p

The sickness has past.  My energy is coming back.   As   much as it can with two little boys, of course .  I’m in the sweet spot of pregnancy and have a very visible bump now.  I’m getting the second trimester glow and my thoughts are full of excitement and dreams for my next little love.  My inner Martha Stewart is even coming out as I’m starting to catch myself nesting.   Oh, how I missed her!   But even better than Martha, my all-time favorite milestone throughout pregnancy is feeling my baby moving inside me; from the first baby flutters to the strong kicks of the third trimester.  While feeling the baby move is a “normal” part of pregnancy, it feels nothing short of magical and here is why: BABY FLUTTERS ARE THE FIRST PURE & NATURAL SIGN OF LIFE MOVING INSIDE OF US.  While the first view of the baby via ultrasound and hearing that little heartbeat are truly awesome, they are both brought about by technology.  Yet from the beginning of time, expectant mothers have fel

"Talk to people about it.  Don't let it be taboo.  It shouldn't be.  It's 2011"   These were the last words of advice from my Dr. on that unforgettable day 4 years ago.  That day I walked into her office filled with excitement.  I was going to see an ultrasound of my baby for the first time.  Even though I wasn't "supposed to" yet, I had spent the last few weeks dreaming and planning.  I was SO excited!  Is it a boy or a girl?  What will we name him or her?  What will they look like?  And how big will they smile?  That's what Mothers do from the moment they see the two lines on the stick. I walked out of her office feeling completely empty.  I went to the lab to have my blood drawn so they could track my hormones while this heartbreaking moment played out.  The nurse taking my blood asked me why I was having a miscarriage.  "Did you lift  something you shouldn't have?"  How could a nurse be so uninformed that she would think th