She's Winning

Featured on Scary Mommy I often reminisce my childless working days and remember the many working Moms that made it look SO easy. They had it all together; reports ready, prepared for the big presentation, with their hair tied back perfectly. I had no fear of the day I would become a working Mom.  If they can do it, so can I!  And then when it actually happened to me, I was completely dismayed as I learned more about what REALLY goes on behind the scenes. Life as a working Mom is like a secret club that you don't truly understand unless you become a part of it. But if you promise not to tell, I'll let you in on a few of our secrets... Before we get to work, we've already had a day.  We've been on our feet for hours. The baby woke up at 5:00 AM AGAIN for no apparent reason.  Will he EVER sleep in?  We raced to get a flash shower in when our other child started knocking on the shower door to, not-so-politely, ask for breakfast. (Kids aren't exactly patient when

This week will mark the beginning of the third trimester of pregnancy with my third child.  My current state of mind can best be described as a cocktail of emotions garnished with pregnancy hormones... I'm excited.   I'm dying to meet my third child!  Who is this little person moving around inside of me?!  Is it another sweet boy or will this be my first and only girl?  What will their personality be like?  Will they look like me or my husband or our other kids?  What new joys will they bring to our home and what new challenges will they bring to me as a mother?  I can hardly wait to find out! I'm scared.   How will I manage three very little kids?  Right now there are so many days that I feel like my hands are completely full and I'm pushed to my limit with patience.  Do I really have what it takes to care for a baby in addition to these two energetic little boys?  I know I'm not the first mom to take on the responsibility of three kids but this certainly is

I’m more than halfway through my pregnancy with my third child.  It won’t be long before we meet this precious new member of our family.  I’m over-the-moon excited and my pregnancy hormones are coming on strong!  I’m dreaming.  I’m nesting.  I’m IN LOVE. This time I don’t know the gender of the baby.   I knew with both of my boys by now.   When my husband first suggested that we shouldn’t find out the gender this time I laughed.  I thought he had to be kidding knowing that patience is not one of my strong points.   Though my kids are working on that with me.   It turns out he was dead serious and after he did a great job romanticizing the moment of him and I in the delivery room hearing the magic “It’s a ……”, I agreed to wait.  To my surprise it hasn’t been as hard as I imagined.  A lot of people have said to me that they couldn’t wait because they are planners.  I get that, although, I think I’m a planner too.  But I suppose when it’s your third little one there is not a lot to p

The sickness has past.  My energy is coming back.   As   much as it can with two little boys, of course .  I’m in the sweet spot of pregnancy and have a very visible bump now.  I’m getting the second trimester glow and my thoughts are full of excitement and dreams for my next little love.  My inner Martha Stewart is even coming out as I’m starting to catch myself nesting.   Oh, how I missed her!   But even better than Martha, my all-time favorite milestone throughout pregnancy is feeling my baby moving inside me; from the first baby flutters to the strong kicks of the third trimester.  While feeling the baby move is a “normal” part of pregnancy, it feels nothing short of magical and here is why: BABY FLUTTERS ARE THE FIRST PURE & NATURAL SIGN OF LIFE MOVING INSIDE OF US.  While the first view of the baby via ultrasound and hearing that little heartbeat are truly awesome, they are both brought about by technology.  Yet from the beginning of time, expectant mothers have fel

It seems like most of us have "a thing", a reoccurring struggle or a challenge we deal with throughout our lives.  It may be related to money, health, family, or something else...  I don't think I've met a person yet who doesn't have at least one "thing" they are challenged with. My "thing" is that I have a chronic disease called Ulcerative Colitis.  It's hard to believe I'm sharing this because I used to be really embarrassed about it.  But the longer I have it and the older I get, it's just become a part of who I am.  I was diagnosed with it when I was 21 and spent most of my 20s suffering silently from it and not listening to my Doctor because I was determined that I was not going to take medication for the rest of my life.  I tried every diet out there,  had extensive food allergy testing done, acupuncture, even cranial adjustments - you name it, I tried it!    When it was bad, it took over my life.  And I spent a ridiculous

I asked Google, of course.  And apparently so have many others.  Interestingly enough there is actually a  whole site  devoted to this question because it is such a big decision for so many parents.  For my husband and I we always knew we would at least have two, no question.  But three kids?  This felt like more of a life-changing decision.  Do we have the energy?  Will starting from scratch hold us back from doing things?  How will this change the dynamic of our family? Since our second son was born, we spent the majority of the time feeling like we were 98% sure that we were done.  Until we weren't....  We had our first two boys close together.  They are only 19 months apart in age.  And during the first two years of having two very little ones, we felt our hands were full and our family was complete.  Additionally I had passed that magical maternal age of 35 possibly adding a few more risks.  With that said, we never made the decision permanent because we both knew there w

It's been 4 months since I quit my job to be a stay at home mom.  Let me start by telling you that I have not regretted this decision for a second.  My husband and I are both seeing such a positive impact on our children and our household.  It was absolutely the right decision for our family and we both agree that it's hard to imagine me going back to work again anytime soon. With that said, I would be lying if I didn't share the fact that I do miss my career at times.  Being a stay at home mom is a very selfless and often monotonous lifestyle.  I answer "why" at least 100 times a day.  I tell my children to stop fighting more times than I can count.  And I talk about poop and pee more than I ever thought possible only to do it all again the next day.  And beyond the monotony, it can even feel lonely at times because of the lack of adult interaction.  I often think about having coffee in the morning with my co-workers and miss that time of socializing, even i

  "You got this, Mama!" has become one of the most comforting phrases I hear these days.  I'm fortunate to be surrounded by amazing friends and family.  They are my village and I couldn't survive motherhood without them. I was texting back and forth with one of my dearest friends yesterday about our normal  mommy stuff .  And at the end of our conversation she sent me this: PS - I just want you to know that I think of you as one of my strongest mommy friends. The way you so selflessly put your kids before your career is inspiring. And even though it so hard and the days seem never-ending, you are truly doing an amazing job with those boys. You can see it in their demeanor, they love the time and energy you give. And even though as moms we don't hear it nearly enough, you are making a huge difference in their lives and giving them something that is priceless. I'm grateful that on the hard, most discouraging days we have someone to vent/cry/laugh with in